HOLY CRAPOLY

Last night was the first Friday night that we have had in a few months that we were able to go out and enjoy like a normal weekend. Usually we have to work on SAT so we have not had a real weekend so far on this tour. Instead we have had a pseudo weekend consisting of MON and TUES when most people are not going out and many places are actually closed or hoping that you don't come patronize them so they can close. So we got all dressed up last night and went out for a night on the town. A barista at Panera had recommended we check out the Busted Lift (hitherto be know as BL) downtown for fun and adventure. So we went there and the bartender Matty gave us the rundown on the local bars and restaraunts. We went to another bar called LOT 1 to get some grub and got to talking with a couple of fellows there named CODY and DOUG. They grew up together it seems and are of course locals because lets face it there is not really any reason to go to IOWA unless fate has befallen you to be born there. Fate can be a cold hearted bastard sometimes.
Having befriended DOUG and CODY we all headed down to the BL for more drinks and LIVE MUSIC. The BL is an irish style pub which is pretty authentic european in flavor. It's an old rathskeller with old wooden tables and stone walls and felt very much like a lot of the pubs we saw in Ireland. The bartender was pretty cool and our new friends were fun to hang out with too. I also ended up sitting next to the only black man in DUBUQUE, IA. His name is MISSION. Some backstory on Mission: He has come up from New Orleans for a job that fell through leaving him homeless and was offered a job at the BL when the owner found him digging through their trash. He has nine children. He also spent 11 years in prison. He was recently asked to be in a porn flick by the producer who made DAWN of the DEAD after he slept with said producers girlfriend and she reported back that he would be good for the part, which he declined.
Now I was having a good time chewing the chaw with MISSION and Anilia was engaged in conversation with our new friends CODY and DOUG. Somehow they got on the topic of EAST DUBUQUE which is on the other side of the tracks (literally) and the other side of the river where there are many dirty, seedy bars that have nude dancers as their primary form of entertainment. MISSION overhears them and asks if I am going to let my wife go to these strip clubs with these other guys and I tell him SURE WHY NOT. Well MISSION makes the jump in his head that I am of the persuasion that I want to have these guys come home with us and play patty cake with my wife. Of course he does not come right out and say this because that would violate some sort of behavioral protocol. But he starts vaguely alluding to this in terms that I am not quite grasping. Eventually I start to realize what he is getting at and that further if we are not prejudice that he would be willing to perform "services" for us and I think perhaps he thought some money should exchange hands in the process as well. Now all this is being revealed in vague confusing terms clouded by some alchohol and the afore mentioned social boundaries. So it takes some time for me to realize that this is in fact what he is getting at. SO I finally had to explain in plain english what I thought he was getting at and that he was a bit confused about the reality of the situation and that we were not prejudice but we were not going to be bringing anyone else home black or white, but thanks anyway.
So once we got that straightened out we were able to return to normal conversation about prison time and the bartender's girlfriend's fake breasts. The band started into a Bob Dylan cover and it seemed like a good time to move on. We rolled out of there and stopped by one last bar where they were playing dance music but IOWANS don't dance so we did for a bit before strolling back to our RV to crash for the night. I woke up this morning and walked to the gas station across the street from where we were parked to get some coffee. I walk in and the girl behind the counter is all like "I SAW YOU AT BEANIES LAST NIGHT!" I am fairly sure that we were not in any place called BEANIES but I am not from around here and don't want to be rude. I simply respond "YEP". To which she follows up, in true IOWAIAN FASHION with "HOLY CRAPOLY" and proceeds to tell me how she hasn't slept since 9am yesterday cause her kid woke her up and how she went out drinking last night for her friends bachelorette party then ate some food at BEANIES where she saw me, though I have never been there, and then came straight to the OKEY DOKEY (This is actually the name of the gas station) to work all night. I make some comment about things not always going according to plan when alchohol is involved and pay for my goods and get out of there. Holy crapoly folks, holy crapoly.