Back from da Bahamas

It's been a while since my last post. So I'd like to take this time to apologize to everyone who I know has spent the last couple weeks glued to their computer monitors, unblinking with a small strand of drool running down onto their keyboard in expectant anticipation. Take a deep breath, rub your eyes and wipe that nasty slobber of your face... the new blog posting has arrived.

As you might remember we were heading off to the Bahamas for some fun in the sun. We flew out in two jumps from Dulles to Miami where we switched to Bahamas Air to fly into Nassau. We were supposed to have about an hour layover but as it turned out they were having a hard time finding a sober pilot the day after new years so it ended up being about a four hour layover. Hey no big deal to us, I mean we are still going to the Bahamas no need to stress over anything. There was one quality human who did in fact have a big problem with this as he had a timely shipment of baseball caps hanging from his backpack which absolutely must get to Nassau before his asshole pills wear off and he mutates back into a normal person. He proceeded on alternating every 20 minutes or so between going up to the counter and yelling at the lady behind the boarding gate counter and then going to the bar and chugging down beers, refueling his angst. Then looking for anyone else waiting that he can bitch to about as an act of drunken camaraderie. Finally they told him they would be happy to call the police and get him on the first plane straight up his own ass if he didn't settle down. This of course sent him away yelling "OH YEAH GO AHEAD AND CALL THE POLICE, DON'T YOU KNOW I DRIVE AN SUV?!?" Meanwhile we all sink down in our chairs because this guy is just making white people the world over look really bad. Sort of like W Bush only with baseball caps instead of cowboy hat.

Finally we do get on the plane and embark on our fantastic journey to fantasy island. Luckily we do not sit near the crazy drunk self centered white guy.

We land a bit later and have lost most of our first day into the crest of evening so no beach time today. We check into our villa which is part of the Atlantis resort and casino. It looks like this:



We stayed in one of the pastel colored villas you see in the foreground. It was pretty nice and the resort is huge they own the whole little island off the coast of Nassau. Which is kind of like Disneyland. They get you on there and want you to stay there and gamble and pay $44 for a sandwich. If we were to go again I would probably stay on the mainland at a cheap hotel on a public beach and go to the local restaurants. But we did get a good deal for the money we paid for the trip. But you can definitely spend an arm and a leg on the resort, best to take a cab and get away where things are only slightly overpriced and not ridiculously overpriced. So we spent the first night just roaming around the casino and resort getting familiarized with the lay of the land and all of its bounty. Fed a few bucks to the slot machine creatures which never cease to hunger and admired the vast array of yachts and fake breasts.

Our first order of business was to go to the grocery store and get supplies for the week so we would not have to spend $44 every time we wanted a sandwich. So we took a cab into town and hit some shops, grabbed some grub and went back to our place. Second order of business laying on the beach and sipping drinks out of a coconut.



It was a little overcast for which we frequently shook our fists at the sky screaming "DAMN YOU DICKFER!" Then the sun would peek out and give us the finger as we were devoured by locusts.

We made a reservation to go snorkeling the next day and were told to show up at the docks at 9am to go out. So we went and the lady at the dock told us to wait on the bench and that they would come and get us. So we wait and wait and wait some more and finally I go out to where the boat is and ask if we are going to be leaving any time soon. And they inform me that they are not going out because we were the only people who booked and it is not worth it to take out just a few people and we can reschedule for noon. They are called Seahorse, they suck, don;t use them. Go on the Booze Cruise instead, it's cheaper and you can snorkel if you want to or even get naked and jump into a school of jellyfish. Needless to say we didn't reschedule as they had already wasted our morning. We went and laid on the beach and drank from coconuts. Some guys got us to sign up to go on the booze cruise for the next day so we planned on doing that.

The next day we were going to go on the cruise but it was a bit chilly and Anilia had a bad feeling so we heeded it and walked across the bridge to the mainland instead and wandered. We saw some great scenery a graveyard and church, the docks with some old rotten sinking ships, the shops downtown and wandered up to the capitol building and an old fort and such. Here's a shot of the church with the graveyard that was pretty neat.



We covered a lot of ground and finally ended up at the fish fry which was a good place to stop and eat so we did. We went dancing that night and had a good old time with the drunken 16 year old girls. Eventually we did have to return home. We had checked out in the morning and had them hold our luggage so we could wander around for a while as we had time to kill before we had to go to the airport. When it came time to go we went back to claim our luggage and they could not find it. We spent a good 20 minutes looking all over for it and getting close to the point of starting to freak out when at last Mel Gibson came to our rescue. Not the white movie star, the black cab driver and in my opinion the better actor. He had our luggage already loaded in his cab. The bellhop had put it there then wandered off without telling us or him so he had been waiting for us to come over and claim our cab while we were searching around for our our luggage. So Mel whisked us off and gave us the grand tour on the way back and never stopped talking about everything from island culture to love advice and was great fun. I highly recommend him if you go to Nassau give him a call to pick you up. He is cab ..886 and his tely is 395-8689.

In other news we have mostly been taking it easy. Have gone and done some yoga and will probably go do some this afternoon. Made my triumphant return to Karaoke to hang out with Dickfer, his Titties and Kroc with a K and sang "All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun" by Sheryl Crow. Also finally got to meet Tactical Tina / Habitual Blame Placer who was a lot of fun and krammed a new years kap on krocs head. Have spent time with friends celebrating Sharon's birthday and are getting together with some family on Sat and heading down to Moms on Sunday. Not much longer now before we head back to work on our next contract.

pimpin' in 2006

Last night we decided to get all pimped out for the NYE festivities. I had my outfit all picked out but my brown pork pie hat I like to wear did not match the outfit so we made a run out to try and buy a black stove pipe hat and a tiara for Ful-O-Pep figuring we'd spend about $10 tops. Well we couldn't find a black hat to match my outfit so I ended up getting a brown velvet sports-coat (which Old Biker would appreciate) a new shirt and tie. There were a couple gangsters shopping for sports-coats at the same time and one of them had tried on the brown velvet and really wanted it but it was not his size. But once he saw my sexy fine and humble ass trying it on he decided he wanted it. So as I was taking it off he said "You don't have to put it back on the hanger just give it to me, dog" So I handed him the empty hanger and bought the coat.

Homecoming Queen wore the dress she had worn to her bro's wedding with the addition of a sequin laced shawl thing and some spangly dangly earrings. We were definitely pimpin'.

Jeremy and his date showed up and we were off to the races. First stop... Fraziers. It was lame and kind of depressing. But we hung out there for the midnight stroke then headed off to Sonar to have some fun. On the way we stopped by the sidebar and said HEY to our buddies there, then continued on to Sonar. Two if By Sea was playing so we watched most of their set then went to one of the DJ rooms and danced the night away. Overall it was a fun NYE. Didn't drink too much, got home safe and sound and had a good time. Now we are packing up to get ready to fly out tomorrow.